Tuesday, June 14, 2011

what's been up lately...

Ok ok.....so I admit it. I've really sucked it up at blogging lately!! And my deepest apologies go out to those of you who actually read this thing! :)

I haven't really been that busy. I actually lead a pretty boring life. I wake up, get ready for work, go to work, come home from work, watch my shows, eat some dinner, and go to bed. And repeat. I guess I stay pretty busy on the weekends. This past weekend I went to Jonesboro to see my best friend of 12 years! You can check her out here. We got to just hang out and chill. We did a little laying out, a little shopping... It was a great weekend! And I am ALWAYS so sad when I leave, not only because I miss her, but because we ALWAYS forget to take pictures when we are together!! So I don't have a real recent pic of us... but this will have to do for now:

That picture was taken on Sara's wedding day! And her one year anniversary is actually coming up this next week so *Happy Anniversary, Best Friend For Liiiiiiiife* :)

Other than my trip to J-boro, I really haven't been up to much. I just haven't really had much to blog about.

I've come to find out that I'm at a really awkward place in my life right now. It's not necessarily a bad thing, just something that I will have to get used to for a few years at least. Here's what I mean.....I am 23 years old. I am financially independent (for the most part). I don't live with my parents anymore. I have a full-time job. And.... I am completely and utterly single. 

Ok...so why is that awkward?

Well, 3/7 of my best friends are married. 2/7 are engaged. And the other 2/7 are in seriously committed relationships.

But....aren't you happy for them?

OF COURSE!! I am thrilled that Sara, Brooke & Ana are married to the love of their life! I am super excited and looking forward to Bethany & Megan's weddings... and I couldn't love Kate & Sam's boyfriends anymore than I already do. But what's the "awkward" part is that they are all moving forward in their life with their loves. And I'm just swimming the in the "single" pool trying to keep afloat.

Please don't misunderstand me. I am not sad or trying to whine about being single. I am happy with who I am and where I am right now. I'm only discussing this because it really IS awkward. And if you are in the same position as me....you know EXACTLY what I am talking about!

I guess it wouldn't be that awkward if I didn't mind living by myself. But because I shutter at the thought of ever having to live by myself again...that's what makes it so awkward. That isn't an issue right now...but when mine and Kate's lease is up in November, I'm going have to either live by myself again (gag), find another roommate, orrrrrr move back in with my parents.

Not that I'm totally against living with my parents again. It would be great to spend more time with them, save a little money. But I've worked so hard to make my own money, pay my own bills...I've enjoyed the independence.

I know everything will work itself out over time. But these are just the thoughts that are constantly replaying through my head. If you were ever in this position, I'd love to hear from you. How did you deal with the awkwardness? I know I won't feel like this forever...and that the awkwardness will be over one day. But surely there are some ways to make this process a little easier :)


  1. Hey Sister!!

    Let me just say that I completely understand the single-ness! Literally, all of my close friends are engaged, married, and some having kids (some with their SECOND already). When I say, literally, i mean REALLY... my last single friend just got engaged a few months ago and will marry in December.

    I am TRULY happy for each and every one of them because I know that (just like me) every girl longs for THEIR day! But it is hard at times.

    You no longer can just expect them to do things at the drop of a hat because they have other people to involve in their daily lives and plans. It can really stink.... if you let it.

    I will admit to you that there are truly days when i'm just like "Lord, will I be a granny before I find the love of my life? Why couldn't it be me that fell in love early and started my family young?"

    But I will also admit to you that I had my "plan" for my life and although it hurt at first when it didn't turn out my way, I am soooo very thankful for Him and His plans for my life.

    I had to go through a season when completely broken ME, fell at His feet and realized that He DOES have my best interest in mind and whole-heartedly trust His plans. That broken raw place before Him became so special and intimate.

    You didn't say anything about not trusting Him... i'm just kinda babbling. All of this to say, I feel you sister. And I wish I could say that I have some awesome knowledge, but honestly, I don't. The hard days come way less than the joyous days of abundance with the Lord.

    A friend told me once, "maybe the Lord wants YOU to be that friend that goes and blesses those married women (with husbands and children). Maybe He wants you to be willing to self-lessly serve them by offering to go do their grocery shopping, or wash a load of dishes or something like that...."

    Maybe i'm just rambling, but know that you are NOT alone and all I can say is that He does hear you, and understand your "awkward state" and He desires the best for you so just open it all up to Him and see how He blesses!

    LOVE! YOU!

  2. Maybe we should start a "Central Arkansas OBU Grad-but-Still-Single" support group. We could make up some kind of uber awkward handshake and everything...