Wednesday, January 5, 2011

the dreaded "S" word

"Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood." - Oscar Wilde

"Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you're pretty sexy and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with." - Sex and the City

"I don't like to be labeled as lonely just because I am alone." - Delta Burke

"Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies." 
- Sex and the City


The "S" word? It's not what that little four letter word that you might be thinking. But it's the word that I've had to accept over the past 22 years of my life.

single [sing-guhl] (adj)
Definition: only one in number. one only. unmarried. separate. uniform. 

Those are just some of the words that pop up when you Google the word "single." Of course, looking at them, they seem kind of negative. Unmarried. One only. Seperate. Restricted.

I have lots of best friends. Three of them are married, three are engaged with weddings this weekend, in Sept. and in Oct., and two other best friends that are in serious relationships. I am the only one that isn't in a relationship. And I haven't been in a relationship since 2006. I've only had one real relationship in my whole life. You might be thinking, "Oh my. I'm so sorry!" But don't be sorry.

In high school, I would have accepted the pity. I was lonely. I was slightly depressed. I thought to myself, "Why not me? Why not CHOOSE me?" But that whole time, God was teaching me something. Patience.

I'm still not the best at it. [it being patience] I'm a planner. I love to plan things. I love to know what I'll be doing for dinner, or for the weekend. I love to know what's going to happen in the future. But God doesn't work like that, and unfortunately, I've had to learn the hard way.

Sure there have been guys here or there that pop in and out of my life. But it never worked out. My mom & sister always tell me I'm too picky. But I just know what I like and what I don't like. I know what I'm looking for. I don't like to play games when it comes to relationships. It also didn't work out with those guys because it was not what the Lord had planned for me. At the very beginning, I would always hear this little voice. "This isn't really a good idea." "You should probably wait." "I'm not sure he's the right one." But I thought to myself, "Why in the world would I wait? I've been waiting for 4 years? Why not give it a try?" And because of my own stubborn thoughts and my not listening to God, I have lost those guys as friends.

I know I am here on this Earth for a reason. I'm in this position for a reason. I am living in Little Rock for a reason. And although it can be a little tough going through life "alone," I soon realize that I'm not alone. I have the most amazing family a girl could ever ask for. My friends are fabulous and are always here whenever I need them and even when I don't think I need them. I have an awesome job with some pretty great co-workers who keep me laughing all day long.

So when you see this: "Relationship status: Single", don't feel sorry for me. Be happy that I'm not settling. Be happy that I'm living my life as a fun, free woman. Be happy that I can come and go as I please. Be happy because I'm happy. I can have my moments of loneliness, but I know that God has something in store for me that will make all of my dreams come true. And that restores my happiness.

So instead of associating negative words with the word "single", I choose these words: individual. distinct. exclusive. uncommon. rare. distinguished. unique.

"A single woman of good fortune is always respectable." 
- Jane Austen


  1. is this all because we were talking about having a guy to take out the trash? and then forget to do it?!

    patience is a vertue!

  2. hahaha actually no... I just started thinking about it!! :)

  3. Wonderful thoughts!!

    Priscilla Shirer once said, "We often miss the many blessings in our current season because we spend so much of our time wishing we were in the next season."

    You are so right. There is a reason that you are where you are! And I believe that joy and abundance are available EVERY day no matter our season (circumstance, situation, or place). Soak up your single season girly!!!

  4. i'm so glad you shared this. :)

  5. Amen Sista! I cannot tell you how many Koreans ask me each day if I have a boyfriend. Then when I tell them I don't want a boyfriend right now they look at me in complete and utter SHOCK. It's like the most life-altering idea to them. I think your heart is being sharpened and refined into a beautiful picture of our Savior...a Savior who wants nothing less than the best for his children! Amy friend, thanks for your thoughts and honesty. You are indeed "individual. distinct. exclusive. uncommon. rare. distinguished. unique."

    Love you!