Tuesday, April 19, 2011

you know I'm a dreamer... but my heart's of gold...

You've heard me say countless times, "You all know that I'm a dreamer." Then I realized.... do they really know that? Other than those of you who actually know me in person. Did you really know that I'm a dreamer? And what exactly do I mean when I say "I'm a dreamer?" Well people...I'm about to fill you in.

These "goals" and "dreams" that I have are all for my future. If you aren't exactly sure what they are, let me fill you in. You could call the following list my career "bucket list." Brace yourself. It's a long one.

     • I want to own small businesses: a boutique/hair salon and a bakery/restaurant.

     • I want to be a personal stylist. Style people. Shop for people.

     • I want to be an event planner.

     • I want to go to culinary school.

     • I want to go to cosmetology school.

     • I want to be an admissions counselor for Ouachita Baptist University.

     • I want to sing and perform for a living.

     • There are times that I wished I'd finish my music education degree that I started so I can
        teach high school choir.

     • I've taken a recent interest in speech pathology - exploring that world and figuring out
       my options.

     • I want a be a stay-at-home mom.........one day.

     • Ever since I was little, I've always wanted to be that person who picks music for TV
        shows and movies.

..........I told you it was long. I know the last one is pretty silly, but it's true. These are all things that I could do with my life and be equally as happy as if I were doing something else off the list.

I'm sure you're looking at this list and thinking, "Amy! Just choose one! It can't be THAT hard?" But I've tried. I've tried sitting down, thinking, praying, making pro/con lists...but there was something always holding me back. What is that? Well it all comes down to one thing: money.

Money is the one thing that is holding me back from a lot of this. It takes money to go to any kind of school. It takes money to start a business. It takes money (or a miracle of a "big break") to start a music career. Heck, it even takes money to be a stay-at-home mom! I mean SOMEBODY's gotta pay the bills!

Isn't that so sad? You can tell your kids, "Honey, reach for the stars! Dream big!" But should we really be teaching our children to "Dream Big" while meaning "hope you have a huge savings account stored up for you somewhere to actually attain any of these dreams?"

As I continue to think, meditate and pray over my future, I hope you will do the same! As you can see, I'm a confused little woman. I'm not sure which direction God is leading me in. But I'm praying that He'll start opening doors in His direction and not my own.

As Motley Crue (& Carrie Underwood) sings... "You know I'm a dreamer... but my heart's of gold..." If only my heart were made of REAL gold....then I wouldn't be having these problems?


  1. Yes but the line in that song that you need to focus on is..."I'm on my way...I'm on my wa-wa-wayyyyy!" :)

  2. Girlfriend!!! I love your honesty in this post.

    I was a music major for two years and I never fully had a peace about it. How stinkin' awesome would it be to worship for a living? I finally changed my major and chose to trust Him.

    You want to hear my pathetic major I ended up with - General studies. I always joked and called it the (loser) "you don't know what you want, but you know you want a degree" major.

    Two days before graduation.. TWO stinkin days... the Lord started leading me towards teaching. I had zero experience. And a whole lotta insecurity.

    What it taught me? That even when I don't have a clue where He is leading me or even that He is leading me AT ALL... He SOOO is and has a plan. A plan to prosper and to give hope and a future.

    If any of these wonderful dreams on your list are His plan for you... HE WILL WORK IT OUT. No matter any decision you have made or will make. No matter the amount of money :)

    In the meantime, I dare you to dream!!! Because He is a God of details and abundance!! :)

    Love you!

  3. i know you wrote this blog... awhile ago, but i am catching up tonight and not sleeping apparently haha. So, i thought I would share with you that I too would like to own a restaurant/bakery/cafe some day and got to culinary school.